The new Top Gear, is it as good as the old one?
Of course not!
Having said that, there were many pleasant surprises in our first viewing of the twentieth third season’s premiere episode, so, before we enforce keyboard court martial on this episode, it is only fair we give you a spoiler warning.
So, having gotten over with the spoiler warnings, let’s begin with a recap of the newest episode of the Top Gear.
“Welcome to Top Gear with our all new improved audience”
The new Top Gear crowd cheers as we are welcomed by Chris Evans introducing himself, expectation and well rehearsed gestures occupy his face in equal manner, he is trying a bit too hard to come across as genuine and as the youth would put it “cool”. The man with the glasses proceeds, and introduces Matt LeBlanc, actor, comedian, Joey Tribbiani, petrolhead, and of course, the new co host for BBC’s Top Gear.
A few quick jabs at Clarkson and the old iteration of the show, and Chris Evans appears to be almost too eager to continue, not wanting to linger on and remind people of what was and what used to be.
Evans narrates as we are introduced to the 2016 Viper ACR, him describing its technology as being a quarter of a century old, the segment continues as he rambles on and on about how much down force its massive wing generates. Then they introduce the Corvette Z06, describing it as quicker to sixty and with a higher top speed while also being cheaper. All of this babble can only mean one thing, a head to head battle.
”… But which one is the king of Muscle cars”
Evans asks in a condescending manner.
To clarify, the ACR acronym stands for American Club Racer, while the modern Corvette has never been considered a pure Muscle car. Both cars are far too focused on handling, cornering, and are far beyond what one would pay for any Muscle car. It goes without saying that while they both draw inspiration and let’s face it, displacement, from the muscle archetype, neither car is considered muscle.
Narration goes on…
“And, at the wheel of the ‘Vette, Top Gear’s top girl, Sabine Schmitz”
The wording of that seems just a little bit off…
Both the ACR and the Corvette Z06 are entered in an airfield arena with laser guns mounted atop the roof, sounds like a setup for every nerdy petrolhead’s dream chase, and on paper it would seem so.
The action is high in stakes and jump cuts, as Evans and Schmitz pilot the Viper and ‘Vette respectively, each accompanied by a military aerial ace, which is tasked to man the laser gun, and try to achieve the new Top Gear equivalent of Top Gun’s Missile Lock.
Amidst oversteer and tire smoke, a victor finally emerges.
After this brilliantly shot but poorly narrated dogfight, Evans takes the win due to being behind the wheel of the better handling car.
We cut to the studio in order for the Viper ACR to take on the Top Gear test track, and boy does it deliver.
1:15.1
The same time as the Ariel Atom managed on its own lap.
Once the time was duly registered in the lap time board, they introduce the next wacky adventure, or at least what they try to pass off as a genuine Top Gear trip.
Onboard Reliant three wheelers Evans and LeBlanc attempt to reach Blackpool, which is 250 miles away from their departure point, the BBC Headquarters.
In short, the road trip to Blackpool was possibly the world’s longest joke with the world’s most unsurprising punchline, if it were a movie; it would be The Village by M Night Shyamalan.
A tow truck laden with Matt’s Reliant is perhaps the only source of comedy in this segment, but fear not dear viewer, for once, it does get better.
This is the part of the show a few of us admit to skipping, but we recommend giving it a chance. This time, the stars are culinary and foul language master Gordon Ramsey and acclaimed actor who plays nerdy characters Jesse Eisenberg. However, something is different.
Newsflash: there is no reasonably priced car.
It has been replaced, and boy is this better than the original. Star in a rallycross car is the new name of the segment, an unexpected and commendable way to mix it up a bit. Beyond that, it’s not only a game changer, but one of many subtle clues that point to the untapped potential this new series has lurking underneath.
Both the interview and the laps are hilarious, partially because of the rallycross course having lots of twisty bits and an epic hairpin.
After all the fun, Ramsey sets the current fastest time on the track, while Eisenberg comes a far second, being several seconds slower than the chef.
The interview is over, but the delightful portion of the episode is just starting. Next up is Matt LeBlanc’s review of the Ariel Nomad.
He heads to dome rough terrain in order to showcase the Nomad’s capabilities, speed, and most of all, the driving experience it provides to whoever is behind the wheel.
The quotes speak for themselves as Matt shows us he can do comedy, driving, and most of all, present us a well known car in a new light, while being down to earth and providing useful and accurate information.
“This is not off roading, this is low level flight”
Is Matt Le Blanc’s accurate description of what being behind the Wheel of an Ariel Nomad feels like. After all, it does get airborne rather frequently.
“And because this car is from the same people that brought you the Atom, the time they saved on styling has been spent on the important stuff”
That perfectly summarizes the minimalistic yet overachieving nature of Ariel as a car maker, once the excess is removed, the essence can fully realize its potential, quite a bit of Zen for a gathering of British blokes building ultra light cars in a high tech shed.
LeBlanc continues:
“Look at all that suspensioning. Suspend! Suspend!”
Is how Matt expresses his surprise at how well the Nomad handles. The cinematography of this segment is exemplary, with precisely timed cuts, excellent editing, and great camera angles, not to mention LeBlanc’s narration.
“Unlike the Atom, there is a windshield, for obvious reasons, such as, the wind.”
He comments on the sparse luxuries of the Ariel Nomad
After the review, we get to witness a test of the Nomad’s speed and agility, Matt begins to introduce the supposed villains, who are chasing him as soon as he steps in the car.
“This is Barry, pure evil, he’s gonna be chasing me with this… kid’s toy.”
Three men, one of them in a dirt bike, another flying a Paraglider, and Barry, well Barry is piloting a drone. The objective is rather simple, take a clear picture of the runaway car.
The chase ensues, first in a desert environment; the Paraglider is quickly led away by a thermal current which propels him upward, leaving only the drone and motorcyclist to get that snapshot.
A series of donuts in the dirt leaves the drone pilot without a visual, causing him to crash the quadcopter into a gigantic rock. The smoke producing stunt allows the man on two wheels to catch up, prompting Matt to take the Nomad into tarmac, and down the most hairpin ridden mountain road we have ever seen.
What happens next it mesmerizing to watch, a beautiful chase which culminates in an epic getaway. It’s worth noting Trucker Stig and the Grateful Dead were a nice touch.
And the stunt that followed was immaculate and so satisfying in its execution, paying homage to The Italian Job in spectacular fashion.
We once again cut to the studio, to find out our hosts did make it to Blackpool, only to encounter, yet again a series of challenges.
This time, however, they ditch the three wheeler deathtraps in favor of something with far greater automotive and historical significance, a Willys Jeep and a series one Land Rover, both iconic military vehicles with ample history of serving in combat and playing crucial roles in armed conflict.
Still, this is Top Gear. Naturally, a purple clad man who seems to be a priest arrives in time to hand them the classic envelope.
The first challenge consists of a top speed run over a long stretch of damp road. With only 1.6 liters of displacement at his disposal, Evans goes behind the wheel on the Land Rover.
“Abysmal, at best”
Says LeBlanc after the Land Rover makes its one kilometer speed run, clocking in just over 42 mph. The reference hits hard.
It’s the Jeep’s turn and it sets an unbeatable mark of 48 mph.
The second challenge is an ultimately pointless tug of war, with both vehicles digging themselves into the beach sand, which obviously makes it a tie.
For the third challenge, a drag race trifecta is to be achieved, firstly, both cars must sprint towards a vehicle, then tow said vehicle out of the water, finally, they must pick up a man in drag and deliver him to the finish line.
Unsurprisingly, the Jeep won the last event as well. Except it was not the last event, it was merely a prelude.
A prelude for what?
You might ask. Well, the actual final event consisted of towing the Reliant three wheelers atop a mountain, over mud and rough terrain.
Needless to say, the result was quite predictable. To put it bluntly, Evans cheated, won, and then glorified his win even more by helping LeBlanc to get his Jeep unstuck.
Finally, Matt’s Reliant and one door of Evans’ three wheel car, made it to the top of the mountain.
We finally cut back to the studio for one last jab at Clarkson, then on no bombshell, they bid the audience farewell.
At the end of the show, if a word could describe the experience overall, it would be: refreshing.
The cinematography was textbook beautiful, the soundtrack, full of legendary songs and pleasant editing. Matt LeBlanc’s review of the Nomad and Sabine driving the Z06 Corvette were the highlights of this episode, and as the season goes on, we look forward to the format shaping itself into something we all enjoy on a lazy evening while reflecting upon our nature as car enthusiasts.
If Evans finds his own identity within the show, Matt continues to deliver his comedic prowess alongside his driving skills, and we get more Sabine screen time, the new Top Gear could finally become The Top Gear.
And on that bombshell, it’s time to go…